My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
