She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
They have beer where we have blood.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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