What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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