We're like a lot better than the average bears
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You need a sexual gate keeper
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
