nut hugger
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
