bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
