My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
