Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I need help removing her.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
