ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
