Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
