Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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