Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
babies were throwing up all over the place
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
