Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
