you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
What drink are we having for lunch?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
