omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
