i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
