How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We need to get me chipped asap
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
