these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
