If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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