D3 body, D1 cock
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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