Capitaan dildo arrescate!
high people should be assigned attendants
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
