it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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