I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
