I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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