Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize