Sponge bath it is.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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