Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I want a musical about memes.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
