Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
