My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
