u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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