I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
