they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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