It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
