fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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