all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
