and i looked up. we had an audience...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
