How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
