mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
