My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
