Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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