Don't you send me to vm
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
