I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
