He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize