the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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