before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
