Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
