How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
