I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
