no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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