That's when you crack a 10am beer
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
