ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
