we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
