Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
