Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
