No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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