I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
