Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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