I just saw a hot homeless man
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
