it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
