Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
