you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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