well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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