ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
